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  The first paper is for a “Trent Riznor”. I laugh, wondering if his parents chose this name on purpose. I mean, I know or I would assume every parent names their child for a specific reason, but this name is so close… I smile. Ha! Closer, yes. I can imagine this song playing in my head and being underneath Jack in his room. Mmm…I shake my head. Focus, Lauren, focus.

  Hmm, let’s see—what qualifications does Trent have, other than perhaps very cool parents? I read over his résumé. It’s fairly impressive. The space of employment in between his last two jobs is concerning, but I put his résumé into my maybe pile. I definitely want to chat with him. I pick up the next candidate, Courtney Gable. Nope, I wouldn’t want Courtney on my team. She is historically known for long bouts of crying at her desk. I do not need a drama queen. I don’t know why she cries, but we are here to work.

  I rummage through all thirty résumés in under forty minutes. I give myself a Tina Fey high five for timing and then send out instant messages to the few on my list, giving each of them a five-minute slot to meet with me before my meeting with Javier. I’m interrupted by a knock on my door.

  Could Trent already be standing on the other side? Only a couple of minutes have passed since I sent the IM. Very prompt, a good sign.

  I pull the door open and am greeted by a tall, dark, slick-back-haired guy with Superman specs. Er…I mean Clark Kent.

  I cock my head to the right. “Trent?” I raise an eyebrow in question.

  “Yes, ma—” Trent offers his hand.

  I hold my hand up to stop him. “Please call me Lauren…always.” I shake his hand. It’s rough and firm. I’m glad he doesn’t do the “squeeze your hand until it hurts grip”. I seriously do not understand the point of that type of handshake!

  “Yes…I’m sorry…nice to meet you, Lauren.” Trent nods. I open the door wider and motion with my hand for him to come in. I shut the door and sashay to my desk. My navy pinstriped pencil skirt with my crisp white blouse screams I’m professional. Or at least it did to me this morning when I put it on.

  “So, Trent, I’ve got to make a quick decision as I stated in my IM. Tell me why you should be on my team.” I nod to give him a cue to speak.

  “Right, well as you can see from my résumé I have several years of work experience with top consulting firms and I have been ranking right underneath you in sales, though I’ve only been here for a couple of months.” He grins with a bit of arrogance. I do appreciate his sales numbers, but I am concerned with his resolution tactics. Does he display this type of arrogance to our clients? Some might appreciate it, but others would surely be turned off. I tap on my keyboard to pull up his resolution percentage. Sixty-five percent.

  “Hmm…” I shake my head. “Trent, you do have great sales numbers; this is one of the main reasons you are sitting at my desk, but your resolution percentage is not so hot.” I pause.

  “Yes, I’m at sixty-five percent, but I’m making strides upward. When I began I was at thirty-three percent.”

  I hold up my hand. “Thirty-three percent is horrible.” I pull back my head. I can’t believe this guy is still employed by Calstone Corp. I shake my head and bite my lip.

  Trent nods and links his fingers together. “Correction, it was horrible. I have doubled my resolution percentage in the brief time I’ve been here. I’ve made adjustments and gotten better at reading customers to get them what they want while still achieving my high sales numbers.” Trent lifts one eyebrow up.

  “Trent, that’s great, but I can’t hide my surprise that you’re still employed with those numbers. However, let’s move on.” I glance down at his résumé. “Can you explain the time gap between Zurwaski and Shullman, until now?” I press my lips into two lines.

  “Yes, my mother passed away and I had to take some time off to deal with her estate.” Trent casts his eyes to the floor.

  “I’m sorry to hear that—my deepest condolences.” I readjust his résumé on my desk.

  “Thank you.” Trent stares at me with his dark brown eyes. They are tugging on my heartstrings, but I am a professional.

  “I’ll be in contact. Thanks for coming by so promptly.” I roll my chair back and stand up. Trent towers over me even with the large desk in between us. I offer my hand.

  “Thank you, Lauren.” Trent shakes my hand and leaves my office.

  As I’m closing the door there is a “knock, knock, hello” on the other side. I swing it back open to greet…Hallie Brooks.

  I jerk my head back for a second. “Hello, Hallie.” I wait for her to respond. Next up on my list was Ann Figueroa.

  “Hi Lauren, I hope you don’t mind but I switched times with Ann, because I have a doctor’s appointment during the spot you scheduled me for.”

  “Oh, okay, have a seat.” I motion for her to take a seat and close the door. A doctor’s appointment? I hope she’s alright. I glance down at her résumé. I delete any reservations and take in Hallie’s accomplishments.

  “Wow, you graduated Magna Cum Laude from Georgetown—very impressive. Tell me about one of your most difficult moments during college.” I lace my hands together and tap my lips with my forefingers.

  “A difficult time in college? Each day was a struggle. I came from a small town. A family with no money. Georgetown and the area around it was a culture shock. But I didn’t let it filter into my grades. It only fueled me to try harder.” Hallie juts out her jaw.

  “That’s good to hear, Hallie, and what has been the best part about working here?” I raise an eyebrow at her.

  “The Keurig coffee machine is pretty awesome.” Hallie laughs. “I mean, I like the work ethic of the CEO and the trickledown effect to the managers. I can see that even though we have individual stats we do work together as a team, and I really value that.”

  “I totally agree…the Keurig coffee is pretty awesome.” We both laugh. “Thanks for stopping by. I’ll be in touch.” I roll back my chair and stand up. We shake hands and she exits my office.

  The rest of the meetings go about the same. My heart is beating overtime. The adrenaline rush of being able to pick the right candidates from the stack is racing around in my mind. Perhaps if I chose any of the other candidates from the stack I might like them also, but of the five I’ve interviewed, I like them. I’m surprised I’ve decided on them before the clock ran out. I can see their future with our company and them being great employees for my team.

  But what if I’m wrong?

  Only ten minutes until I meet with Javier. There isn’t enough time to interview anyone else. I’ve got to go with these and not let my internal doubt stand in the way. I grab my cell phone from my purse and press Jack-my-fiancé’s number. It rings twice.

  “Lauren…how are things going?” Jack lets out a deep breath.

  The sound of his voice drizzles like melting chocolate beyond my ear and slides down to my toes. My cheeks are warm. I take in a deep breath and pucker my lips together. Focus. “Good…actually great. I’ve narrowed down my five candidates for my team and I’m about to meet with my boss to go over them.” I move the mouse on my desk and glance at my email. All five candidates have sent follow-up emails. My stomach clenches. This is even better.

  “Great, Lauren, that’s…great.”

  The following silence is dark. Like a deep hole, there is no sound. No understanding. We are so far apart. I know physically there are thousands of miles, but emotionally it seems further than that. Is this distance going to break us? Do we even have a foundation built to handle this issue?

  “Jack…is everything all right?” A lump forms in the back of my throat.

  “Yes…no…Lauren, I don’t want to be without you… Seriously, why don’t we meet in Vegas this weekend and make it official? I bet we can even have Elvis marry us.” Jack laughs.

  I laugh for a second. But I can’t joke about this. “Jack, I don’t want to be married by Elvis or in Vegas… I want…I want a real wedding… It doesn’t have—”

  “I know, Lauren,
I want to give you a real wedding but it’s only been hours since I last saw you and the distance is too much.”

  I sigh. “I agree…it’s too much.”

  Chapter Two

  Bing. My email system alerts me that I have another email. It’s almost as if it’s taunting me. Like it knows that it’s yet another email from my mother. A wedding theme possibility, no doubt. I swear the moment Jack and I became engaged my mom went into full-on planning mode. I think she has even put off her annual Valentine’s Day cupids and hearts ceremony. It’s still January, but usually by this time she’s sent me several pins for her Valentine’s Day Extravaganza board so I too can appreciate all the possibilities of her decorating themes and parties, costumes and cards. When it comes to holiday planning my mom goes all in. All in. As in dressed from head to toe in…interesting décor.

  I click on the message.

  “Dearest Lauren,

  I’ve created a Pinterest board for you and Jack. No need to thank me—it was a lot of fun to do. Well, actually I’ve created several Pinterest boards for you. Currently, there are ten different boards with various themes. I’ve pinned over a thousand pins in only a few hours! Anyways, I know you’re at work but when you get a chance, I think it would be a good idea to narrow down the theme so we can focus on building the best wedding for you and Jack.

  All my love,

  Mom”

  I roll my eyes. I cannot believe…well I can believe it’s just ten Pinterest boards of wedding themes, but over a thousand pins? It’s just too much. We don’t even have a date yet. I would think picking a date and maybe even a location would be the starting place for planning a wedding, not the theme. But my mother, my dear sweet mother…she is a theme enthusiast.

  I type back.

  “Wow, Mom, that’s really impressive. I’ll have to check these out at home. Busy day here at the office.

  Lauren”

  I slide my chair back and lift the stack of chosen résumés off my desk. My fingers are tingling with excitement. I hope Javier will be pleased with my choices. I turn the knob of my office door and step out onto the grey carpet.

  “Oh hey, Lauren, are you done interviewing for your team?” Leena, standing outside my office, raises her eyebrows at me.

  “Leena, hi. Yes, I think so. How was your holiday?” I close the door to my office to cut our eye contact. My chest tightens. I hope Leena doesn’t ask why she wasn’t offered an interview. I don’t want to lie to her, but her sales and resolution time are not great. They don’t even compare to the stack of candidates in my hand.

  “Uugh, it was horrible. I didn’t get any of the gifts I wanted and my boyfriend forgot to pay the gas bill so our heat was off until the twenty-sixth.” She rolls her eyes.

  “Wow, I’m sorry. That must have been very cold.”

  “Yeah…but we had each other to keep us warm.” Leena flips her shiny auburn hair over her face. “It must be tough for you to be alone over the holidays.” Leena’s eyebrows furrow together.

  I’m not going to tell her about Jack. For one it’s none of her business and two, she will then know that we are engaged and will ask questions about where he lives and works. These answers will only fuel more questions from her, which again I have no interest in answering, and a lot of them I don’t have the answers to. My chest tightens further.

  “I was with my family. Excuse me.” I force a smile and push past her. I don’t want to be late for my meeting with Javier. As I make it to his door it opens before I knock.

  “Perfect timing, we are going to meet with Elaine for lunch. Do you have everything you need?” Javier cocks his head to the right.

  “Oh…uh, let me go and grab my purse—just a minute.”

  “Good idea, since you’re paying.” Javier lets out a loud barrel of a laugh.

  My eyes bulge. “Ha, good one.” I turn and rush back to my office. Javier could be the figurehead for Dad Jokes.

  I slip into my office and grab my purse from my drawer. I move the mouse over the pad and type in my password. I want to take one last peek at my inbox. I’m waiting on some stats from Q1. There’s only one email and it’s from my mom. Argh. I slam ctrl alt delete down so fast the keys stick a little.

  I make my way back into the hallway and Javier is chatting with Leena. Great…no doubt she is questioning him about my team. I know Javier trusts my judgment but I wouldn’t put it past Leena to try and lean into his ear and offer up herself for one of the spots.

  “Ready?” I raise my eyebrows at Javier.

  “I’m starving. First day back from the holidays I’m always famished. Though I could stand to lose a few holiday pounds.” He pats his tummy and we head towards the elevator. As we turn the corner, Leena is still where we left her and her fake smile has been replaced by a scowl.

  Javier pushes the button of the elevator. We’re on the fourth floor. Elaine rushes up to meet us. She reminds me of a value brand Lucy Liu.

  “So glad I caught you. How about we ride together? I just got my car detailed over the weekend. I’ll drive,” Elaine says, as we enter through the open elevator doors.

  “Fine by me,” Javier says.

  “Me too.” I smile. Elaine is about the same age as me, but she transferred in from another division and has been a manager for a little over a year. We’ve exchanged general greetings in the walkways before but nothing more than that.

  We make our way to Elaine’s car and the lights flash from the front and rear of her jet-black Mercedes XLS. Javier opens the passenger side and immediately I am a third wheel. I’m not entirely sure why Elaine is going with us.

  “All right, where should we eat? I’m only eating clean this month, so how about En Salatas on 10th?” Elaine puts the car in reverse and steers the vehicle out of the garage.

  Javier lets out a sigh. “I guess…I need to cut back on the calories, but a salad? Do they have anything else? I need something with meat.”

  “Javier, you might want to consider a healthier lifestyle and go vegan…at the very least try for Meatless Monday.” Elaine stops the car at the red light in front of us.

  Javier lets out another barrel of a laugh. “Elaine, not only are you ranking in every level as an ML Manager, you are funny to boot. I like it.” Javier runs his hand through his dark hair. “I do, but seriously do they serve meat?”

  “I think they have grilled chicken there.” I offer. Even though I’m like a child in the back seat, I’m not going to sit back and be quiet while the adults chat. I fiddle with the straps on my purse.

  “Hmm…grilled chicken. I guess I can try that.”

  “Perfect, because we are here.” Elaine takes a right into the parking lot of En Salatas and finds a space in the very back of the parking lot.

  “Why did you pass up those other spots?” Javier glances back at me with a raised eyebrow.

  “We can use the exercise walking, don’t you think?” Elaine turns the car off and we all get out.

  “I suppose a bit of a walk is healthy.” Javier kicks a chunk of gravel along the path.

  “Lauren, have you been here before? They have several lighter calorie options.” Elaine blinks her eyelashes at me.

  I alternate between biting my cheek and tongue. Is she insinuating that I need to opt for lighter calorie options? I did indulge over the holiday but it was a non-calorific item…Jack. I sigh. I can imagine him here. He would scoff at Elaine’s comments and definitely her lunch choice.

  “Oh, great, do you have a favorite?” I beam back at her.

  Elaine laughs. “I always opt for the lighter calorie options wherever I dine as it is the wiser choice, wouldn’t you agree?” She cocks her head to the right at me.

  Javier pulls open the door and we step into the restaurant. I’m going to let her quasi-question sit there. Javier requests a table for three and we follow behind him as the host leads us to our table.

  We all sit down as the host passes out menus to each of us. My stomach is clenched tight. I’m still not su
re why Elaine is with us.

  Javier raises his eyebrows as he inspects the menu. I can’t decide if I want to go with the lower calorie choice or find the most calorific dish possible. Maybe even order two. I might consider this if Javier wasn’t here, but I can’t act so silly in front of him. I close my menu knowing exactly what I’ll order and wait for the waiter to return.

  The waiter strides over to our table. Javier nods at me.

  “I’ll have the Caesar salad, and can you add spinach?”

  “Absolutely.” The waiter turns to Elaine.

  “Yes, I’ll get the kale salad and please add the goji berries and soy nuts, and the dressing on the side.”

  Javier nods and makes a duck face. “I’ll get the Southwestern salad—extra chicken and bacon for me.”

  The waiter nods and grabs our menus.

  “Oh my heavens, Lauren, is that an engagement ring?” Elaine grabs my hand and inspects my ring as if she is a trained gemologist and trying to determine the four Cs.

  I let out a slight laugh and retract my hand. I reach for my glass. “Yes, it is.” I take a sip of the water.

  “Well come on, don’t be shy. We’re all professionals here. How did it happen and when?”

  I laugh yet again and eye Javier. He has a pensive stare on his face. He’s reading the situation. I’ve seen this face in meetings when our company was determining if two separate divisions should merge.

  “Uh well, over Christmas.” I take another sip of my water. It’s half empty. Yes, half empty because I’m about to empty it completely. Using it as a stalling tactic is going to be gone within three sips.

  “Over Christmas?” Elaine jerks her head back. “This Christmas? As in just a week ago?”

  “Yes, exactly.” I tug on my skirt underneath the table. And reach for my portfolio of résumés with the candidates I’ve chosen for my team. “Javier, would you like to go over these résumés?” I hold up my stack of papers. My throat is so dry and my water glass is empty.